Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
