She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
