I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
