Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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