Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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