woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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