You're so nebulous sometimes
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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