guys are only as good as the porn they watch
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
