There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
