I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
