I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize