I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
