K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize