were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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