I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
