Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The beer is more important than you right now.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
