Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
