We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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