I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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