Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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