Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
