is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
