yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
