Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
