Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
