I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
In other news, I just burned my penis
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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