Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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