im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
