Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
