Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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