I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
