i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Randomize
