Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
