He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
not ubering you a puppy
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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