I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
