maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
