i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We're too hungover to prance.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
