Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize