I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
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