i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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