Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I think I just sharted jello shots
the raccoons are back...
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