All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
