yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
