This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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