I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
