I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
