We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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