i was born a porn star she said
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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