their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
