i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
