y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
