I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
