i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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