i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
