he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
