Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
