I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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