My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
