i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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