have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
