You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My room smells like vodka and shame
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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