i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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