u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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