Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
