taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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